The Newgrounds Game is a working title for a game I will never make that mirrors the reality of Newgrounds itself! With the popularity of mind numbingly boring grind simulation games, who wouldn't want to play a game where you work your way from zero to hero on the flash portal? I know, right. So, I've created this handy guide that will help you work through the game, and newgrounds itself! If you are struggling on this site, drop everything that is dear to you and start cashing in on something else!
In the game, there are 3 critical elements to success, on which you can choose to be a reinassance man and embrace all three, or focus on one:
backfeeding: this skill requires you to use other characters outside of newgrounds to gain noteriety. this path will increase your CRITICAL DEFENSE and LOSS OF REALITY skills, but it will lower COMMON SENSE.
namedropping: this skill requires you to use characters and personalities exclusive to newgrounds to gain noteriety. This includes putting them in your cartoons, as well as using their voices and other talents, and then mentioning it as much as possible. This path will increase EXCESSIVE HUBRIS, UNWARRANTED SELF-IMPORTANCE, STAFF SUCK-UP and SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION skills, but it will lower ACT YOUR AGE.
dry-wringing: Once you have succeeded in backfeeding, namedropping, or both (!), you must now harness the power of wringing it dry. Or you could just take any idea and turn it into a series (bonus points if it's about teenagers playing video games.) This process takes years, but it becomes easier and the effort-to-noteriety ratio is much larger in favor of noteriety! It involves creating the same cartoon formulas you have created in the past over, and over, and over again to no avail. This will increase CASH COW, and a chance to max out CRITICAL DEFENSE and LOSS OF REALITY! However, there is a 3% chance that you will invoke DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING for each successive cartoon you create after this point. This chance increases by 1/2 of the previous % increase per episode (1.5%, 0.75%, etc). However, not all hope is lost - once you do this, you can roll for a 50% to invoke LOL JUST KIDDING, restore your series and return to your former glory!
With enough luck (and selling out), you could be on a one-way ticket to Newgrounds fame. Numbers don't lie, folks!
Oh yeah - and when you're too popular for newgrounds, don't forget to upload all your stuff to youtube so it's easier to steal and the quality gets ruined. Bigger better bolder badder bigger!!! Who wouldn't want a second audience of video blogging halfwits?!