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View Profile rtil
please forgive your useless sister.

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The Newgrounds Game!

Posted by rtil - October 11th, 2008


The Newgrounds Game is a working title for a game I will never make that mirrors the reality of Newgrounds itself! With the popularity of mind numbingly boring grind simulation games, who wouldn't want to play a game where you work your way from zero to hero on the flash portal? I know, right. So, I've created this handy guide that will help you work through the game, and newgrounds itself! If you are struggling on this site, drop everything that is dear to you and start cashing in on something else!

In the game, there are 3 critical elements to success, on which you can choose to be a reinassance man and embrace all three, or focus on one:

backfeeding: this skill requires you to use other characters outside of newgrounds to gain noteriety. this path will increase your CRITICAL DEFENSE and LOSS OF REALITY skills, but it will lower COMMON SENSE.

namedropping: this skill requires you to use characters and personalities exclusive to newgrounds to gain noteriety. This includes putting them in your cartoons, as well as using their voices and other talents, and then mentioning it as much as possible. This path will increase EXCESSIVE HUBRIS, UNWARRANTED SELF-IMPORTANCE, STAFF SUCK-UP and SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION skills, but it will lower ACT YOUR AGE.

dry-wringing: Once you have succeeded in backfeeding, namedropping, or both (!), you must now harness the power of wringing it dry. Or you could just take any idea and turn it into a series (bonus points if it's about teenagers playing video games.) This process takes years, but it becomes easier and the effort-to-noteriety ratio is much larger in favor of noteriety! It involves creating the same cartoon formulas you have created in the past over, and over, and over again to no avail. This will increase CASH COW, and a chance to max out CRITICAL DEFENSE and LOSS OF REALITY! However, there is a 3% chance that you will invoke DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING for each successive cartoon you create after this point. This chance increases by 1/2 of the previous % increase per episode (1.5%, 0.75%, etc). However, not all hope is lost - once you do this, you can roll for a 50% to invoke LOL JUST KIDDING, restore your series and return to your former glory!

With enough luck (and selling out), you could be on a one-way ticket to Newgrounds fame. Numbers don't lie, folks!

Oh yeah - and when you're too popular for newgrounds, don't forget to upload all your stuff to youtube so it's easier to steal and the quality gets ruined. Bigger better bolder badder bigger!!! Who wouldn't want a second audience of video blogging halfwits?!

The Newgrounds Game!


Comments (112)

idea...

...stolen

hehe

you're on your way!

n****r.

racial profiling - funny! good job!

Very cool Idea!

Are you actually making it, and does that mean you're holding off on PF?

maybe someday!

penis?

alright!

but without these valuable skills you could gain massive points in CYNICISM and REDUNDANT BITCHY TENDENCIES.
I'm just fuckin with you though. You know I love ya like a noobgrounder love poorly made generic trash.

I do!

WAIT Don't answer that... I just read the top... HAHA!

Sweet, that means more animations coming soon right?

I think!

you forgot: "Excessive profile use: This skill gives you the power to use people who already gotten fame, to appear and/or powerlevel you to fame by using the same well know voice in everything you create, using their talent and popularity to make your writing/animation skills look unique(NB. others can also use this skill, so beware)"

That might make the game over 20MB!

I'll need a walkthrough

Pirtaral casts "Art Thievery".
You now have Super Mario Sprites in your inventory!

BONUS POINTS

omg i love that new user image

surprisingly someone has actually done this:
<a href="http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/236362">http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view /236362</a>

But it doesn't have my wonderful stats!

I am to video game parodies what you are to complaining about Newgrounds.

Ok!

Oh! Oh! Will there be any legendary characters in your game that we may choose to have in our simulated newgrounds flash based movies/ games!?!?!?!

I HOPE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Also, how's your experimental cartoon with Mistel coming along?

Slowly!

or you could make a video game parody.

That's the backfeeding class!

sounds like somones a grumpy gus :(

Could you make a video tutorial instead? :P
&quot;ScrewYouTube&quot; sounds like a corney porn site. Hehe.

Don't forget you can use cheat codes to unlock the ability to make cheap hentai and raise your FAPPING-FANBOYS by 69%.

No!
You've revealed the secret of NewGrounds!
How could you?
Now everyone knows the key to &quot;success.&quot;

i was going to say something funny in response

but im not funny

Methinks you have a bit of a love-hate relationship with Newgrounds.

What happens when you become too popular for Newgrounds AND youtube?
I say sell yourself out to the guys who made Disaster Movie and make a couple of bucks for a cheap reference .

This game sounds like it'll never ends. Ever.

well after that you are truly a legendary frog

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