please forgive your useless sister.

Joined on 2/27/05

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rtil's News

Posted by rtil - July 12th, 2009

Since you are all so bad at arguing, trolling, or whatever it is you do "putzing around" with your spare 72 hours of the week, I figured I'd put together a helpful lesson on what you're all doing wrong. Enjoy!

Tu Quoque: a Latin term meaning "you also" or "you're another". A logical fallacy where one attempts to discredit another's opinion or argument by turning the argument on them. This is an example of Red Herring - whether or not the accuser is guilty of the critique, it is irrelevant to the truth of the matter.

Ad Hominem: Latin for "argument to the man". Attempt to discredit an argument by attacking the one who proposed it. A common practice of the fallacy is to accuse someone of being a hypocrite in an attempt to invalidate their argument. In other words, being a hypocrite does not make them wrong.

Straw Man: A logical fallacy that occurs when a person ignores another's actual position and instead substitues a distorted or made up version of it to attempt to prove them wrong.

The bottom line: At the end of the day, your and my opinions are worthless beyond ourselves. Their significance to others, however, is created solely by what reaction they receive. Even if I had ever claimed to be anything that people say I have ("original"), arguments against them serve no purpose other than to make fools of the accusers. You invalidate yourself and unconciously counter your own argument simply through acknowledgment. Essentially, you create a fantasy image of who you think you're speaking to, then proceed to attack it. In other words, you are arguing with yourself.

on newgrounds.

"All humans are hypocrites; the biggest hypocrite of all is the one who claims to detest hypocrisy." - Peter Wastholm

to my devoted fans

Posted by rtil - July 4th, 2009

it has come to my attention that a 13 year old brat trapped in a grown man's body has put me in his signature! of course, the original intention of his quote mining has been completely lost as mindchamber couldn't successfully defame a pile of rocks if he even tried, but it doesn't matter! i stand by my statement and i'm damn proud of what i said. in fact, here's a copy of the quote so you don't have to look at his 3rd grade english level posts.

"if you're working for newgrounds you're not doing anything worthwhile" - me!

also, 2 extra stupidity points have been awarded to MC for not even trimming the forwarding url. we already knew you vehemently lurk my forum (cat got your tongue?), but now you're searching popular newgrounds terms! tom, are you paying this hothead to do top secret newgrounds espionage work? i'm sorry, but no matter how hard you try, you can't put camo on a bloated mexican who still hasn't learned how to use the internet.

but enough about newgrounds staffers demonstrating how to fail in life on a daily basis, let's go over some important facts about thebackalleys:

1. thebackalleys is not just a forum, it's an elite warrior race of super powerful beings who will soon take over the world. and no, you are not invited!

2. when one person on thebackalleys doesn't like something, every other member by default doesn't like it as well. this is simple logic, folks. besides, how far could a stereotype about a website go without crude generalizations? am i right, all you mario hentai fans?

3. thebackalleys' #1 public enemy is newgrounds. we devote our lives to constantly dismantling and hacking the site, and it is all we talk about, ever. yes, we do have a bomb, and it is almost done. and the top secret X-2 bomber? let's just say we'll be getting funding from hentai dating sim ads - so you know we'll get it fast.

haven't we learned a lot? do you feel better? now, when you have an axe to grind, you can blame all your problems on me and thebackalleys - and you can learn from the best. next time we'll discuss how to have a class-A temper tantrum about stuff on the internet - with examples from some of newgrounds' most popular authors! bloated egos and superiority complexes go hand in hand, and they make for some serious entertainment! vote 5 folks!!!

he's done it again !

Posted by rtil - June 26th, 2009

you know what this means?

all those hilarious michael jackson jokes are even more funny then they were in 1998

and as an added bonus they are super edgy !!

so come on down to the portal and get your 15 minutes, it's your only ticket to just a speck of the attention from the world the king of pop ever got. and let's face it - this may be your only chance!

it looks like one-trick pony catoblepas is already right on the job, and he took the best jab in the book! what a go-getter. so you better hurry up and get on the bandwagon! next stop - FAME!!!

hey guys michael jackson is dead

Posted by rtil - May 17th, 2009

gee another power of 3 post WELL GUESS WHAT i still haven't chosen a coder and i have a musician pending but if you are either of the two and would like to make a game with me (i don't bite) , i've got all kinds of ideas and i'd be glad to hear yours, too. let's put ours together and make a better one!

if you're interested PM me with some examples of what you can do.

-edit: my team is complete. thanks everyone who offered, you guys do great work. maybe we can work together some time in the future


Posted by rtil - May 7th, 2009

got a case of that whine flu going around? well quit mopin' cuz we have just what the doctor ordered and that's three inoculations of BRAWL FUNNIES! the wackiest, zaniest antics of all your favorite video game characters doing hilarious things animated by the pinnacle of NG talent - you can't miss hilarity of this pandemic level!

PART 3 (deluxe edition)


super smash bros comedy smorgasbord!

Posted by rtil - April 29th, 2009

and when you fail at timing
it sucks

bad source material can also be a hinderance

timing in animation is everything

Posted by rtil - April 14th, 2009

was it not your sin that trapped the unicorn?
even now, the evil seed of what you've done
germinates within you
the last unicorn dies tonight
as her blood ebbs, the sun sets forever
there shall never be another dawn


Posted by rtil - March 6th, 2009

well folks, another year has passed and another epoch has been marked on the calendars of our e-hearts. i woke up this morning with a phone call from my agent . he usually doesn't call this early so i knew something was up. "sir, please open newgrounds this instant." i scramble out of bed and run 3 feet to my desk where i will spend the rest of my life. and there it was, a PM from the man himself - tom fulp.

"Congratulations, team of Metal Gear Funnies. You have all been selected as the winners of the 2008 Tank Awards!"

i won't go into much more detail as i'm sure the presses are already rolling - but let's put it this way. the video on the fp is, you guessed it, a prank. the real winners will be announced soon. and since you're dying to know what they are right now, i'll go ahead and spill the beans:

movie of the year: Metal Gear Funnies - doesn't get more epic than a 30+ user collaboration of some of the most classic laughs that will certainly be remembered for generations to come due to its relevance in society.

game of the year: Sneaky Snake's Adventure - learn how to type and have fun in this retro-style game with a unique physics engine designed specifically for exploding snakes.

musician of the year: redmongoose - with swingin' samples from the speakeasy's of the 1920's fused with fresh beats from the wired generation, there's nothing more diverse than the music of redmongoose.

user of the year: Shaun McGlinn - a man who changed an entire generation by making "look at my dick!" a household catchphrase from the high-rise condos of bustling cities down to the humble farm homes of the midwest.

here are two of the trophies from this year ready to be shipped out. congratulations, winners !

2008 Tank Awards - NOT what you think! Details inside.

Posted by rtil - January 26th, 2009


you're going to die

and somehow

you'll still be drawing like this

epic flash collab with cash prizes!

Posted by rtil - January 7th, 2009

tenchiotaku3: what's hangin my broski
NGHardcore: Nothin sweettits, enjoying the festivities? LMAO
tenchiotaku3: nobody brought punch
NGHardcore: LMAO Psi got you good with that picture, you look like a douche, roff.
tenchiotaku3: what
tenchiotaku3: u wanna go dudicon??!? what's your problem jerkface
NGHardcore: haha nothin. must be pissed hes gettin a tablet now.
tenchiotaku3: nah i have 20 tablets why would i care
NGHardcore: also heard you sending him stickers n stuff.
NGHardcore: its an rtil cup holder , and mario stickers right? ;-)
tenchiotaku3: yeah um BIG DEAL WANNA FIGHT ABOUT IT
NGHardcore: haha nothin I just think its gonna be funny when he burns em.
tenchiotaku3: burns what
NGHardcore: hahah your patch, dumbass.
tenchiotaku3: are u my guardian angel
NGHardcore: haha ya why did ya think he told you he couldn't afford them? why buy something he aint gonna keep.
tenchiotaku3: that would be pretty funny if it was someone besides my sorry ass
NGHardcore: haha man, you gonna look fuckin stupid.
tenchiotaku3: well considering i am retarded it looks like i might as well milk this one for all it's worth. after all, psi is my mortal enemy
NGHardcore: hahahahah man, you fuckin idiot.
tenchiotaku3: amazing how much i care about this
NGHardcore: Hahaha PWNED
tenchiotaku3: DUCK DIVISION
NGHardcore: HAHAhahaha

you live and learn.

At 1/4/09 6:48 PM, Psi43 wrote:
mindchamber is deepthroat

So maybe mindchamber was NGHardcore after all? I mean he does admit to registering it. how bored would this fat balding mexican really be to send me this post then fool me into posting it only to claim he just registered it to prove me wrong is this a run on sentence yet?

I seriously can't believe I was a fan of this kid. He has proved to me how nasty he can really be, and basically convinced me you just can't ignore a person's efforts to make your time as miserable as possible, and still be their fan

You Live and Learn LMAO.