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View Profile rtil
please forgive your useless sister.

Joined on 2/27/05

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rtil's News

Posted by rtil - January 19th, 2020


as you may have noticed i have been uploading old art i haven't posted here. i have a backlog of quite a few years of art (that i still like) and it'll probably take me a few months to go through it. i'll try to pace it out so there's only 1 or 2 a day instead of spamming the portal all at once - but if you follow me elsewhere you'll probably see a lot of stuff you've seen before for a while.


12

Posted by rtil - December 27th, 2019


#5: ZOIDS WILD


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While it's no Bakugan Brawlers, Zoids reminds us all of something very important: Pokemon is fucking stupid and for dumb babies. This testosterone-fueled adventure sends us back to the constant hellscape that is robot dinosaurs beating the everloving shit out of eachother. It really makes you think "hey, i want to buy these as toys." And guess what, you can! Zoids gets 5 cool dudes out of 5.




#4: SARAZANMAI


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Are you secure enough in your sexuality to watch 3 teenage boys get naked, share their most intimate feelings with eachother and do butt stuff? No? What are you, gay? This anime is more manly than Fist of the North Star and Berserk combined. So what are you waiting for? Put on your big boy pants and step in to the world of kappas and shota fanservice loaded with subtext. 5 magical anus balls out of 5.




#3: ZOIDS WILD ZERO


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It's the sequel to Zoids Wild, but they called it Zoids Wild Zero instead of Zoids Wild Two. Fuck you. 5 expectations subverted out of 5.




#2: BEYBLADE BURST GACHI


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The series all about letting it rip finally does away with its biggest flaw - women. Beyblade Burst Gachi has exactly what the fans have been craving since day one, men fighting men in the most epic arena of skill and strategy ever created - the Beystadium. Beyblade is mankind's pinnacle of achievement in competitive spinning top games and will likely never be usurped. Women just don't have the stamina or mental fortitude to wrap their feeble minds around everything that goes in to the art of "the rip". And I don't see how that statement could be misinterpreted in any way. That aside, there's no question that Beyblade Burst Gachi is the Beyblade experience refined. 5 spinning pieces of plastic out of 5.




#1: XL JOUSHI

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This is literally an anime about how huge this guy's dick is. No beating around "the bush" here, he's got a massive cock and you're gonna know about it. As an added bonus, you can get free PUA lessons just from watching this series. Ladies are basically 100% guaranteed to love you if you act like the men in this anime. Bonus points if you have a huge schlong. 5 spiked drinks out of 5.


I hope you agreed with everything on my list, otherwise I will be forced to dox you, file false DMCA claims on your content, and report you to the Blam Police. Thanks!


Tags:

11

Posted by rtil - December 7th, 2019


pranked bro epic style


15

Posted by rtil - January 12th, 2011


if you want to see my art go to http://rtil.deviantart.com


4

Posted by rtil - April 10th, 2010


it's halo the gameboard


Posted by rtil - February 1st, 2010


kudos to the VFX team on avatar but that aside can we all just agree here that story/acting/script-wise avatar was a stunningly mediocre film? how desperately closed in and detached do we have to be to become severely depressed that we don't live in a CGI world haphazardly inspired by the very nature of our own? why must we captivate ourselves with the guilt of simply being human?

at the very least i can say i underestimated james cameron before this movie came out. i thought nobody was going to be interested in disturbing motion captured blue aliens created by an ego-centric jaded director who willingly admitted he wanted people to be sexually attracted to his "creations". but time and time again his dances with wolves pocahontas sci-fi epic tops the box office - although to his credit nothing really good has come out recently with the exception of peter jackson's the lovely bones.

which reminds me - shouldn't filmmakers be using cg to help tell a story instead of hide a bad one? the lovely bones may have been long-winded but at least jackson used technology to propel story elements instead of give us neon blue migraines for 3 hours.

and on a final note, unobtanium. real creative name there. as if the ill paced narration to explain every story bit to death wasn't enough, you had to make a pun out of the name on the mineral on a planet called pandora. way to treat your audience like a bunch of idiots. but maybe that's what they want.

$2 billion says yes!

speaking of $2 billion - avatar is NOT the highest grossing film of all time domestically. inflation in mind, it hasn't even passed titanic. the prize goes to gone with the wind, which in today's dollars would have made almost $2 billion domestically. barack obama's fault? you decide.

avatar


Posted by rtil - December 9th, 2009


i don't even know why i post here anymore. anyway, The Lighthouse Girl premiere was incredible. the festival had a record attendance of 160 people and we were shown right before the highlight event Secret of Kells, so that was really cool. We also won a Student Film Award for the short. some pics of the event can be seen at their official blog.

that being said, most people couldn't attend because it was in seattle and you guys are all over the world. so this Sunday, December 13th, Jenna and I will be doing 3 separate LIVE video streams of the cartoon at the official Lighthouse Girl website. check the live event page for info on the times for your timezone. you should RSVP on Facebook if you wanna be reminded of it.

and maybe someday it will be playing at a festival in your area. i'll keep a festival schedule on that site as well. after the live event it will be available there and on sites like vimeo. i don't think there will ever be a newgrounds version for several reasons, the most likely being that the final format is video and it putting it in a bloated swf just doesn't make a lot of sense to me.

i'm sure you can guess the other reasons. here's a hint: mario's not in it

everyone in the world is invited!


Posted by rtil - November 29th, 2009


since february blvd-square and i have been working on a cartoon together called Lighthouse Girl. We are literally days away from completing it and we couldn't be happier - and to top it off it will premiere at the 2D or not 2D animation festival at Seattle's PacSci Eames IMAX theater december 5th!

If you're local, please come and celebrate the festival with us! The main event is the 1st American showing of Secret of Kells. This is waybefore it's coming to theaters and probably the only time you'll get to see it on an IMAX screen, too - much less our cartoon.

tickets are $20 for students - may seem pricey, but it gets you 9 hours of animation, and 100% of the funds go towards starting up a local animation studio.

chances are you're not from around here - in that case we'll be doing a LIVE video event for the online premiere of it sometime next month as well. If you're familiar with livestream that's where we'll be doing it and we'll also show it 3 times during the day for all the different timezones. we also hope to send it to other festivals around the country, so keep your eye out for that.

after that we'll be putting it on video sites like vimeo. we're gonna try to squeeze it into and SWF format, but because its final format is video, it's not going to be easy.

anyway, here's two spots/bumps i did for thebackalleys livestream channel, where we'll be premiering the cartoon online. the picture below is a screenshot from a final scene too.

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our new cartoon at the IMAX!


Posted by rtil - October 29th, 2009


i'm sure many of you attended or watched the live stream of last week's NEWGROUNDS RASSLIN' FRASSLIN' FREAKDOWN 2009 where the NG elite came to cage fight in the TweenDome in front of a crowd of 70,000 13 year-olds. and as you also may know it came down to me and mindchamber. we were neck and neck for this year's golden mario hat when he pulled an ILLEGAL MOVE in the heat of the 12th round, the infamous double-back knoxinator which nearly killed my hero Legendary Frog back in 2004 when he fought two-time heavyweight (and i mean heavyweight) champion Pikanjo.

and not only did the referee let this pass, allowing mindchamber to steal my place as this year's rightful champion, he left me with a mangled, broken right hand from - what would you know - THE KNOXINATOR. and now my livelyhood as an animator is shattered as i must re-learn everything i was able to do with my right hand, which i guess you can now refer to as jello pudding, because that's what it looks like.

but i will not let my greif stop at this completely self-serving pity card of a newspost. with my fortunes from my interactive flash game hentai empire, i have hired the nation's top team of lawyers to bring down mindchamber AND newgrounds with him for letting this fixed fight destroy the integrity of fighters everywhere and my career as a blossoming manga-ka.

remember MajinPicollo, creator of Skittlez 'n Bitz vs. Mars Inc., creator of Skittles? Well the only reason Majin won that case is because he had a stake in Rina Chan Gets Randy 3, which allowed him to cover the massive legal fees needed to take down "the man", and keep the Skittles name on his timeless sprite series.

and that's what you have coming to you, Tom Fulp. ironic, really, that the boatloads of revenue from the glorious animes I littered onto your flash portal will now enable me to take you and your corrupt empire down. there will be no holds barred. i will not back down. arbitration is not an option. i will see you in court. i can feel the chakra rising.

SUING NEWGROUNDS!!!!!!!!!


Posted by rtil - October 17th, 2009


after much deliberation, the winner of the Lighthouse Music Contest is Winterwind-NS! he will be scoring me and jenna's cartoon and we're really excited to work with him. check out his music! we finally have a date for when it will first be shown - december 5th. where i can't say, but it will be local. later on we will be putting it online as well.

we want to thank everyone who submitted a piece and took part in the contest. it was not easy deciding and we enjoyed all your submissions.

also, congratulations to ry99an for winning the heroes vs villains contest after 3 intense rounds. she won a whopping $65 (redeemable anywhere in the world), and a free weekend pass to tweenland, my theme park dedicated to legendary frog, opening in 2050.

the next contest starts today and is already at $45. the theme? anything halloween! entries due halloween day, or whenever the topic is closed, which is usually at 4 in the morning. we take art, music, animation, whatever you got. we had just under 20 participants last contest - so if you make something good, chances are you'll get a shot at the top. GOOD LUCK

and have some boo chips

congratulations winterwind-NS and ry99an!!!